Marijuana on my mind......

To my fans: This particular blog post wasn't thought of in the shower. It just so happens that I need to blog about an academic project im currently embarking on for Journalism.

Marijuana has been a subject of great debate both in political and social circles for a long time now. And frankly, I don't know why? Yes, I am a marijuana advocate. Not an addict. I've had a puff once or twice and it has been a memorable experience.  I would give an in-depth description of my best highs but this is not about me. Possibly in later posts In this post , I will be commenting on the bigger picture.

I study International relations and Journalism at Monash South Africa and one thing I know about the weed smokers at the school, is that they are lazy. Not by nature but by habitually getting high. Infact, marijuana helps concentration when taken moderately- I can vouch for that. But once over done, "couch potato syndrome" sets in. Academically, a couch potato suffers.


It;s not hard to spot a couch potato at monash. Firstly, from a distance, they always look drowsy, they're always in a good place emotionally like nothing you say could vex them, they have a slouched walk and always looking to eat something but can't because they are broke from buying all the weed. Up close, theyh have perpetuallyh sweaty palms and the classic weed smokers breath.

Currently, monash university has a somewhat under enforced rule against drugs and weed. I separate weed from drugs because I assert that marijuana is not a drug. it's a plant. It just grows like that but should you so happen to set it on fire, that's a different story. Monash, due to a series of unfortunate events are strengthening their hold on such "accessories". They are contemplating introducing dogs that sniff students at the gate and random searches in students' rooms in order to counter the circulation and use of these "accessories".

I couldn't care less what the school does because I'm not a habitual smoker. I am a recreational smoker.

Illegal marijuana dispensaries are present all over the Ruimsig area. Having visited one, I notice they are very discrete about their trade. They don't tell you their names, they don't look you in the eye, they don't  talk except when it comes to the money and their homes don't even smell like any marijuana-ish activity takes place in there. At first, to make sure you're not affiliated with the law, they deny having marijuana, at first. Once you convince them that you are clean or actually dirty as they are, they open up only slightly. This is the trend until one becomes a regular customer or couch potato. At the risk of being stereotypical, i notice that these dealers are mainly Zimbabwean.

LOL: The Disclaimer.

The acronym, LOL, meaning Laugh Out Loud, came into existence with the advent of mobile communication, more specifically, text messaging. As the use of  LOL became popular, variations began to emerge. Examples of variations include:

LMAO: Laugh My Ass Off

LMFAO: Laugh My Fucking Ass Off

ROTFLMAO: Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass OFF

DOL: Dying of Laughter

But I digress. The point of this blog is not to give you a history of LOL. None of us could give a rat's ass about that. This post is more on how the uses of LOL have changed in recent times. Usually LOL was used after a funny joke. Or after being told anything even remotely amusing. For example, this skype message:

A: Why did the chicken cross the road?

B: I dunno....Why?

A: To take a shit.

B: LOL

That is LOL in its most basic usage. But now it is used as a disclaimer. The total opposite of what it was originally intended for. It is now used at the end of a rude message, or unfunny comment. It's like the person is saying, "I said it, but I didn't say it." Here's an example.

A: Hey I went to a party last night

B: How was it?

A: It was epic. I made out with three guys!

B: You hoe! LOL!

A: I know, right! I'm such a slut ha.ha.

As you can see, person B actually did mean to call person A a "hoe" but so as to down play the bitterness of the truth, she added LOL. See how different the conversation would have gone without that little safety net.

A: Hey I went to a party last night

B: How was it?

A: It was epic. I made out with three guys!

B: You hoe!

A: Fuck you. Your mother's a hoe

B: Look who's talking, everybody knows it's in your genes. From your Dad to your Mom and now you. Can't wait for your lil brother to join the crew. You hoe bag.

You see how outta control the conversation got without our lil friend LOL.

My personal favourite is the awkward moment LOL. For Example, this google talk conversation between this new couple:

A: hey babe, what's up.

B: Just got us tickets to the twilight saga.

A: Oh wow.

B: We'll have so much fun.

A: Yes we will.

B: I gotta go do my laundry. I'll see you l8er. I love you. LOL.

A: Thanks. LOL

Had she not put in the LOL, the reply woulda been: "Already!? I think we need a break! We moving too fast!"

Lastly, LOL is effective when one has nothing to say or couldn't be bothered when told something random. For example: A: Guess what? I'm high.

                     B: LOL

So that is what it LOL has come to. It can be applied to a variety of situations. Basically, the lesson is, you can say whatever the hell you want to say as long as it is followed by an LOL.

Digressions on Facebook

Have you ever posted a picture or status update on facebook and people start to comment on random stuff other than the original item? Don't you just hate that. For example:

Miss X Status: I need a boyfriend

Comments

A: "Aww...it's about time!"

B: "Pick me! Pick me!"

C: "So you're done fooling around?"

Miss X: "I never fool around. Btw, long time no see"

C: "I know right, long time no see"

C: "Sorryh I forgot to sayh happyh birthdayh. I was in labour"

Miss X: "You had a baby, when?"

C: "6 months ago!"

Miss X: "Wow. Inbox me! I wanna see pictures!"

C:"I will, love. I've missed yhou"

Miss X: "Me too. Who's the daddyh?"

C: "your ex......lol"

You see how off track the comments between the host and her back stabbing friend. The worst thing about this trend is that people like Person A and Person B keep getting notifications as those two keep digressing. it's hugely irritating. that's why face book has wall-to-wall and the almighty private in-box. Not everybody needed to know that Person C had a baby by Miss X's ex-boyfriend. Talk about airing one's dirty baby diapers in public.

It's funny how even the most stupid, random, unnecessary comments and digressions can appear on a status saying " hi".

Three Types of Hoes

According to urban slang, a hoe or whore, is a woman who has sexual relations with different partners, usually of the opposite sex. She has no shame, no remorse and often has excuses to justify her conduct, such as, "I'm not looking for a relationship" or "I'm trying to explore my options....." But I have come to notice that people aren't only promiscuous with the opposite sex but with everyday items as well. I have come up with three different types of hoes which fit this bill.

The Alcohoe 
The alcohoe is a person who would do anything and go anywhere for alcohol. A male or female may be an alcohoe. Alcohoes are always where the booze is at. They make judgments and decisions based on alcohol mostly. When faced with a dilemma, the alcohoe would choose the option that shows promises of booze.
Alcohoes have a tendency to get extremely drunk as a result of being excited by large amounts of alcohol, thus suffering an intense hang over the morning after. The alcohoe then vows never to touch alcohol but at the sight of a bottle they relapse. Alcohoes suffer extreme mood swings, in that, they can be extremely fun or extremely aggressive and every other extremity in between. And are usually always broke from spending all their money on booze.

The Party-hoe
The party hoe is a person who would do anything for a party. Party-hoes live for the weekends but are not limited to it. Anywhere, anytime, as long as there's a party, they will be there. Whether they are invited or not...usually not. party-hoes usually struggle academically as they are usually partying.
An interesting I noticed about party-hoes is that they usually have overprotective parents who shielded them from lost activities but once they got into varsity they get loose and intend on making up for lost time. They also usually lead boring, mundane and uneventful lives that party hopping is a means to get away from themselves. party-hoes are usually broke as they would go the longest distance to get to parties which means expensive cab fares.
Party-hoes are usually Alcohoes and Alcohoes are usually party-hoes.  One thing both hoes have in common is that they are chronic borrowers of money to feed their hoe-ish behaviors.

The Photo-hoe 
Photo hoes love being in photo. they usually impose themselves on the photo. We all have that friend who when we check our photo albums are always hovering around in the background or squeezing into the group photo. Or that person we see in all our photos but don't have a clue who they are. They either have dangerously high or dangerously low self esteems. Thus they feed their egos by appearing in every photo so they can proudly say, "I was there!"
They suffer mild retina damage from all the camera flash they are exposed to. They look extremely weird in photos as they make crazy impulsive faces as they rush to be in a photo. they are usually single or in messed up relationships. Female photo-hoes usually were extremely nastyh clothes for the attention. A party-hoe is usually a photo-hoe and vice versa.


Hosts should be beware when these hoes arrive in groups. They can be a huge nuisance both to the guests and you. Invest in a good number of bouncers for your occasions else things may get out of hand.

All in all a typical hoe, in it's original sense, may embody all or one of these other variations.

Morgane's SOS

I have this friend who i go to school with me. We go to Monash South Africa together. She is really pretty. She got the whole "negro ass thang" going on. But she's white. yes, she's white.

As pretty as Morgane is, she has been dumped 6 times. This is not to diss her. this is simply an observation. I ask myself, how can someone so pretty and funny have so much bad luck in relationships. As a matter of fact, her last boyfriend stole her bank card and went gambling with it. And then dumped her on Facebook, another on Mxit.

Obviously, the niggas she's been fucking with aint't shit, as they.

An interesting fact: All these ex-boyfriends have been white. And one colored.

It is about time she come's over to the dark side and try her luck. Just an opinion though.